A new (old) project to do for the Lord

written October 28, 2012

We serve a God who dictates time and season. Even as the election is in the next 10 days, this is the time He is reminding me to write my next art book. What?!  Listen to this!  On June 3, 2005, I wrote in my journal which is the first entry of my Out of the Wilderness, My Journey through Cancer and Cancerous Lies, book: "as I sit here by the ocean with my journal and Bible and pen, numbed and bewildered by the diagnosis of breast cancer, my spirit is hearing Him speak about a second art book He wants me to write...It would be about how to paint small animals, butterfly, crab, fruits and vegetables with childlike freedom and joy. What does this book have to do with my plight with cancer? I sensed Him answering thus: Jean, this book will be all about life. It is a celebration of life.Do you see why the enemy, Satan, wants you to focus on cancer and death?  It is because you are about to receive from Heaven the fragrance or 'nard' for life and life abundant. Every word, every stroke will bring down Heaven's fragrant 'nard' of life...Catch a whiff of the fragrance and you will catch Heaven's desire to impart life and life abundant...You have the power to write the book that speaks life and life abundant. You have the authority to command life and life abundant to come forth through the words you write and the paintings you paint. Life pulsates out of your words and your paintings as you live life abundantly. I am living inside you, and as you move and have your being in Me, My life will pulsate through you." 

It has been seven years since I wrote those words. For seven years I did not sense His anointing to write this second art book. In due course, I came to wonder if He was actually referring to my last book, Out of the Wilderness and not to an art book. I even considered taking that first entry out of my book.

Two weeks ago as I was getting ready to put together another art book with pumpkins, rabbit, fruits and vegetables for the use of a workshop I am doing in Fallbrook in a couple of weeks, I could not sleep all night. As I was restlessly prowling around the house, I took out my Out of the Wilderness book and started reading it. As I reread June 3rd entry and several more entries where He talked about the art book that is to bring down Heaven's desire to give life and life abundant, I knew that the time is NOW, because it is a prophetic word from seven years ago, asking me to do a prophetic act that is for this time, not only for our lives, but also for our nation.

In a month, December 1st, I will be doing a whole day workshop on healing at the Pasadena International House of Prayer (PIHOP). Today, end of October, they are having the national directors of Healing Rooms do a workshop on healing.  My session is the next in line. I said to God, "Are you kidding?  What do I have to say about healing!"  I believe He is saying, "Plenty!" It won't be about training people to pray for healing, but it would be to share on the stance of the bride of Christ to combat the spirit of infirmity - how she embraces life and life abundant, how her mind is being transformed into the mind of Christ as she thinks on whatever is true and lovely and beautiful and excellent and praiseworthy.(Philippians 4:8) - all that He has been painstakingly speaking into me in the cavern of my heart tucked in the cavern of His heart. Please pray  for me so I will not be distracted. 

An interesting God-news.  My one and only copy of a paperback bound book of  The Rising Up of the Warrior Bride of Christ, A Prophetic Journey, which was hidden from me for many years, is on its way to the federal penitentiary, to be read by a brother in the Lord who is in total solitary confinement for 20  some years and not allowed to have any communication with the outside world except with his immediate family. The Lord has been visiting him and speaking to him and transporting him out of the walls of the prison to do His assignments in different parts of the world - yes, much like Philip who was transported to the desert to minister to the eunuch who was studying the book of Isaiah. He is starting to paint, and his ex-chaplain who is not allowed to write with him, found my website and ordered my book so he can learn about prophetic art. Pray that this book will reach his hand in good time (normally it would be two months before he gets his mail). Pray for the release of the anointing of these painting-words to come upon him. Perchance there be a transference of the prophetic anointing that was on me to him. Amen!    

 

Hallelujah! one more upgrade adventure!

written October 8, 2012

Had no idea that my making it to the Aglow National Conference in Ontario (almost 2 hours away from SD) this past Friday and Saturday would be so critical to my cough/no voice syndrome plus receiving a key word for all of us. He is an amazing God!

Each of the last three adventures - to Pasadena International House of Prayer (PIHOP) to speak on creativity and joy, to the Chinese fellowship in Glendale, and the unplanned trip to the Aglow conference with me still coughing and unable to speak - were "dire straits," or narrow paths that were risky and so uncomfortable, except that by God's grace I stayed on course. Now I already see in my spirit that the fruits, the rewards are HUGE. Thank you for praying for me to make these trips and not to say "No" to God because they are not sensible or smart. Thank God! Thank God! Thank God!

Quickly, about the cough and the loss of voice syndrome. When I rose 10 ft. tall as the fearless warrior bride to speak to my fellow Chinese in Los Angeles, and my voice came forth from my belly full of the Holy Spirit, I really believed that the cough would go away after my talk and my voice returned to normal. But it was not so! I continued to cough and to have no voice. I was miserable and disappointed. In the days following my cough got worse. My every thought was about my symptoms. How could that be when I experienced His miracle at the fellowship? It's not just about the cough and no voice, it was really more about all the prayers from the saints and the faith and the conquering spirit in me that triumphed over circumstances and sickness. The detective part of my spirit knew something was amiss. What was it!  The night before the trip to Aglow conference I could not sleep. I said to God," What hapened to me, God? How did I go from a 10 ft. tall warrior bride to a victim-like person? What went wrong, God? This was not supposed to be my story."

Then the Lord showd me what really happened after my talk: I got careless and from there went into pity party and worry.  I was miffed at God for not healing my cough and voice. That opened the door for the enemy to whisper to me, "Poor Jean! You even had to teach your classes when you had no voice because you needed the income. So sad. Look at your circumstance now - you no longer have the option to be sick anymore. Is God really taking care of your needs?" I woke up to the ploy of the enemy when I could "hear" what he was really saying to me and I was agreeing with. Quickly I asked God to forgive me and I put everything back into His hands - cough, no voice, tiredness and whatever His timing was for healing me. I even began to thank Him for the cough, knowing that He would turn everything to good, even the cough.

On the last session where Graham Cooke spoke, because of my cough(where I have had to run to the restroom due to the coughs), I chose to go to the overflow room where there was practically nobody but me. As Graham began to speak, he chit-chatted with us. Suddenly, out of the blue, I heard him say,"Yeah! Yesterday I felt my voice come under attack. I said to myself, Well, when the enemy attacks my voice, it must mean that he is deadly scared of what I am about to say."  Just like that, I knew the why of my cough and the loss of voice. I knew it has to do with my speaking on the ancient Chinese written words!  The enemy tried to stop me from going to the Chinese fellowship to speak, but failed to do so. That is nothing compared to what God is showing me about the Chinese characters (in C.H. Kang's book on The Discovery of Genesis) that has to do with the creation of the WOMAN out of the rib of the MAN, and the ensuing life of companionship of this woman and this man. I already know He is about to show me something so key, so fundamental about MARRIAGE through those characters our ancients had invented about the life of the TWO humans in that garden. So many characters were about TWO people, not three, not a group, but always, TWO humans. I actually have been waiting to get done with the three out-of-town assignments so I can hide away and listen to Him showing me about the Garden marriage through these characters. It will be a part of  the NEW MAN-NEW MARRIAGE He wants me to write on.

Now hear this. After the Graham Cooke's session, I walked out to meet up with streams of people coming out of the auditorium.  I ran into Pastor Mike Hubbard from Oceanside. We stopped and talked for a few minutes.  He asked me a strange question. "Jean, can you help me out?  I am going to Fuzhow to speak to Chinese men about marriage. I need to have some Chinese characters about marriage."  I looked at him and said, "Interesting you should ask. I am about to write (a book) about such Chinese characters ( which will cast light on God's thought on marriage)"  I know that Mike does not know about Kang's book on Discovery of Genesis, How the Truths Were Found Hidden in the Chinese Language." He just wanted some Chinese calligraphy written for him. But this is what the enemy is scared of. To this day, in China, women are still minority and are abused and mistreated by their husbands, even Christian men. It is culturally acceptable. The enemy cannot afford for me to discover what God wants to show me, and for me to write His revelation down and to share with my readers who pray and also with Mike who is going to China to teach and retrain the Chinese men in their thinking about women and their treatments of their wives. It is important that we identify the ploy of the enemy and expose him, because it renders null and void his wile and scheme against us. 

I want to write so badly about what Graham shared on UPGRADES but it will have to be another report. But let me just slip this in for now-please know that upgrades from God for His people are super important in this day and time. Every time we release all of our fears and worries and anger and bitterness and discouragement and low self-esteem, etc.etc. to God, really, really let them go into His hands, the Holy Spirit is free to give us upgrades from the Father for our lives. Upgrades come from our standing between God the Father and God the Son as they converse and love on each other and we get to receive their joy and peace and thoughts and plans. The Holy Spirit just smile ear to ear as He keep us in that position of love. Also, He gets to take us on adventures to do mighty deeds with Him and for Him.

My eyes are opened now. What I have shared with you in these three emails are my choosing to release my fears and worries to God and the resulting UPGRADES or adventures or creativity and joy I got in return. They were 10-fold, 40-fold, 90-fold kingdom rewards or fruits. It is so important that more and more of God's people release every single one of our worries and fears and issues to Him, even name them one by one, and drop them into Jesus' lap, and not go back to take them back into our own hands again. Then and only then, when we are free to receive His love, He can give us our upgrades. Oh the joy of going into adventures with Him, and bringing back so much fruits!

Adventure into "Creativity and Joy"

written September 6, 2012

Psalm 118

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his loves endures forever...

In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and He answered by setting me free...

They surrounded me on every side, but in the name of the Lord I cut them off.

They swarmed around me like bees, but the Lord helped me.

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me.

The Lord is my strength and my song;

he has become my salvation.

Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous:

"The Lord's right hand is lifted high; the Lord's right hand has done a mighty thing."

I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.

The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death.

It was testing and training the whole way for going to do the workshop at Pasadena International House of Prayer (PIHOP).The enemy continued to hit, but the Lord continued to train. I was in the school of the overcomer, and this assignment was pretty high level and God had to train me well to handle this. I was going through what Chuck Pierce calls "dire strait." That's what you and I are experiencing in so many ways. Such a tiny opening and guarded by the enemy, but we must get through that dire passage to get to the next portion of our destiny, the next clearing where we can "see" what is up ahead for us. So important.

But God met me in those dire passages. In the last three days before the workshop on September 1st, I got three painting-words that I was to bring to the workshop. First it was the "Mountain of God" which came the next morning after my heart palpitation episode. This came with passages from Revelation that were given to me to eat. That morning I was stuck with five dilemmas in my life and I was hearing Him tell me, "You come up higher and I will show you what must take place after this." It is climbing higher to be with Him, with nothing but being on a rock, face to face with Him, and singing the song of the overcomer. I knew in my spirit that things looked bad, but if I go up there to hang out with Him, I will KNOW. I proceeded to know by faith that all is well with everyone of those five dilemmas. Wow!

Sensing my weakness, I cried out to God to help me. He answered me by the following passages. Rev. 1:17: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive forever and ever. And I hold the keys of death and Hades. Write (or declare, or dance, or sing, etc.) therefore, what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later. 

Next I got Rev. 2:7, "To him that overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life." ( I know that is why God keeps training me in the school of the overcomer, so that I will be kept alive by eating from the tree of life, and I believe that these painting-words are fruits from the Tree of Life and I have been kept alive by these painting-words, with special reference to cancer.)

Revelation 3:7 follows: "What he opens no one can shut and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." (That speaks clearly to me because I know that on my part all I have is that I have kept His word and not denied His name. That is my two fish and five loaves of bread or my 1% to His 99% in the scheme of things.)

Revelation 3:11, "Hold on to what you have, so no one can take your crown."  (His training is strengthening my arms so I can hold on to what He has given me and not allow the enemy to rob, steal and kill. It is the warrior bride stance that He is developing in all of us. No more limpy arms, and victim-like mentality.)

During another midnight of hanging out with the Lord, Revelation 12 was given. He was giving me the interpretation about the woman who was giving birth and the dragon who was waiting to devour the child. The woman was the church, and she was about to give birth to "creativity and joy." It is the rising up of an army of creative people. Yes! Yes! an army of passionately creative people who are hearing, hearing, hearing from the Throne Room and receiving ideas, formulas, visions, sound, cures, inventions straight from the Creator God. Thus, a second painting-word was added to bring to PIHOP- the Tidal Wave 2. He was saying to us that this next tidal wave will not be like The Call tidal wave of 2001. Rather, this tidal wave will bring in the Renaissance period with an outpouring of creativity and joy unlike anything we have seen or heard or imagined, thus sweeping many into the kingdom of God. 

As an aside, let me share a story of my teaching art. For the last 4 years or so, God has been coming to my Chinese brush painting classes. Before that, I was burned out teaching a bunch of atheists, intellectuals, new-agers, eastern religion proponents.I wanted to quit teaching. But He said He would come to my classes if I continued to teach.  From then on my classes became the joy of my life. When I was teaching and demonstrating, I would see my students listening with such focus, sometimes with tears brimming their eyes. I could not preach about Jesus, but Jesus was giving them kingdom principles. I was able to take these pre-believers to underground passages and show them how to paint from deep within the caverns of their hearts. I took note that my students were turning into children who laugh and play in His Garden. These are people who would not step into a church, nor hold a Bible, but God is preparing to sweep them one day into His kingdom through the outpouring of creativity and joy.

On Friday, August 31st, the Lord revealed that the third word I was to share at PIHOP was the "Sunflower" painting-word. This painting was the second one that God gave me in 1993. It was about joy.  The scripture was "anointing you with the oil of joy."(Psalm 45:7).  I saw a vision of a heart with a stout white pipeline stuck on its side pointing up to heaven. The Lord said to me at that time, "I am pouring out the oil of joy into your heart and the heart of my people. This joy is not of the earth, but purely of heaven." Yet, at 1:30 AM of Sept.1, I was up asking the Lord how was I going to speak about joy when I rarely feel joy. Creativity, yes, but not joy. People with my background in depression do not experience joy very often. Yet at the night hour I felt as if I was going through a birthing experience. I was groaning and rocking in the spirit participating in something His Spirit was doing. It was a deep experience that was more than I could comprehend. I knew then that my going to PIHOP was to birth something important in the spirit, with the help of those who would attend the workshop.

As we drove up to Pasadena, I was so tired from lack of sleep and all the warfare. I told God, "Look!  I don't have an ounce of strength left to do a 21/2 hour workshop. But I give You all I have."  As soon as I stepped through the doorway of PIHOP, all tiredness left. There was so much peace in that building. I felt spiritual energy flowing into me. Gone was any thought of warfare or concern of any sort. All I can tell you is that I sensed such presence of the Holy Spirit the whole time I was speaking. I never had time and energy to organize my talk, so I simply flowed with the Spirit and it was great. I felt so safe there with these people I had never met before. I felt so confident and sure-footed as a mountain goat. I took my time developing the thoughts from the Lord, point by point.  I got to share everything the Holy Spirit entrusted me to share. What luxury to have that kind of ease in sharing His kingdom thoughts with fellow lovers of God.  After my talk we went into prayer. Then I got to pray for a lot of people there. Just about everyone was connecting with God in deep ways, with tears flowing down their faces. We were full of joy.

 Psalm 126 is what happened to us there:

When the Lord brought back the captive to Zion,

we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tonues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

"The Lord has done great things for them."

The Lord has done great things for us,

and we are filled with joy.

Restore our fortunes, O Lord,

like streams in the Negev.

Those who sow in tears

will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping,

carrying seeds to sow,

will return with songs of joy,

carrying sheaves with him.

Testing and Training for Authority

written on August 1, 2012

In January a friend forwarded Bill Burns word for the year 2012, and now I realize that what I have experienced in the last eight months  has been exactly what Bill wrote to the bride of Christ. See below:

"You have been taught My word, and My ways have been revealed to you by the spirit of truth. You have been equipped by the spirit of power as you have embraced the gifts of the Spirit and have believed that you can operate in these. And now you are entering a time of testing so that you can apply that which you have learned and that which you have received. In this season you can pass the tests that come by using the authority that you have been given. Luke 10:19 says, 'Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.' These tests will strengthen you and will teach you responsibility and integrity.  They will equip you to be more than conquerors and enable you to be overcomers. This is an important season in which I am preparing My people to become a glorious church.  It is a season in which you must live by My prophetic and written word. You must now learn to apply by faith My words to every test, and if you do so, you will have victory and reason for celebration. Present vision will be established as you embrace the challenges of this season. Rejoice and be glad for the time of the victory and the Day of My power is at hand, says the Lord."  (Bill Burns, "2012- a Year of Discovery, part 2) in "The Trumpet" (12/5/11)

For me this is indeed the year of testing and training for authority. It comes with unrelenting assault and oppression. Chuck Pierce calls it "dire strait" or "narrow place." He wrote that many are facing circumstances which have the potential to create devastation, but we must choose life over unbelief. For those who read my July 9th report about "Boiler Room" and "Warrior bride knight", this is the third word I had wanted to share with you.

On July 5th, I woke up in the night hours with very heavy heart and went to sit with the Lord. Psalm 18:4 described how I felt: "The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me." It was not "death" but doubts of hearing God correctly. In truth it was not really me, but the devil was pushing me to doubt my ability to hear God's voice. At that critical moment, a vision came to me: I "saw" the electrode of my heart zipped from the normal track to the abnormal track signaling that the dreaded heart palpitation (SVT) was starting (this being a condition I suffered for many years) Normally when SVT starts, I would lie still for hours and pray and wait and see if my heart would convert back to normal heartbeat. However, I would end up going to Urgent Care for help. 

But NOT this time. I have been hearing from God about the enemy's ploy called "dilemma" where the bride of Christ would be driven to distraction cannot tell which of the two courses/two paths/two understandings/two words from the Lord, both sounding like God - which was God and which was pseudo God.It would all be so tricky and almost identical and both would seem good, only underneath one would be false and the other is true. 

God has been training me to discern the spirits, which is no longer easy to discern because of the time we are in when darkness and light seem to blur. God has also been showing me that some seemingly physical health manifestations are actually not real health problems but demonically inspired wiles and scheme. If they are not real, then they must be fought at a spiritual level. I watched the way these SVT have been happening so often to me from January to March, causing so much anguish and self-doubt -  if God already said I was healed, yet I continued to have SVT, then did God really say I was healed or did I hear wrong? What God is training me to look for is what is in it for the enemy.  I see how in many cases he is using these physical health problems to weary the bride so that we don't have peace and joy. We are distracted and confounded and worried as seemingly one health problem leads to discovery of another one, and another one.

In my case I saw how I had become a shadow of who I was, so afraid that SVT might show up when I was driving to Los Angeles, or when I get up in the morning and all of a sudden my heart would go into SVT. Thus that fateful night on July 5th, when SVT got started and God gave me that quick vision of my heart switching from normal track to abnormal track, my spirit was ready to fight the assault. I sprang forth from the chair like a soldier facing an enemy in the house. I whipped out my weapon and went on the assault against the enemy. I put my hand on my heart and I declared with great authority (although not loudly as Peter was sleeping), "No weapons forged against my heart will succeed." "By His stripes my heart is healed." There was no double-mindedness as I commanded my heart/mind/emotion/body to be one to agree with God that He has healed me of SVT and to tell SVT to be gone in Jesus' name. I even talked to my heart as if it were a person: "Rest, heart!  Do not fear! Remember Jesus is holding you in His hand."  Heart palpitation obeyed and went away!

Yes, SVT had become so bad and occuring so often that I was eager to have the procedure done on my heart where they would burn the abnormal path. It would have been easier, so much easier if I just get the procedure done, instead of waiting to see what was on God's mind concerning this matter. But I knew in my heart of hearts that if God tells me He has healed me, then I prefer to find out why I was still having SVT and I would prefer to overcome whatever scheme the enemy has so that I can gain more authority in the realm of healing.  So, in the end I cancelled the appointment for the procedure and chose to go this route because I know that the spiritual gain is huge. I am not saying this is for everyone. Each person needs to find out what the Lord is saying to her/him. I have a friend who wanted to go the supernatural route with cancer but God told her to go the medical route. She is a mighty warrior who prays for healing.

What the enemy is after is for me to deny that I hear God rightly or that those reports I write are from God, such as "All is well!"  and other reports I have sent to you. Once I deny that I hear God correctly than he can fool around with my mind, and I won't be able to write the next book. Very clever. That day after I fought and won over SVT I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "You must not give away any word that I have given you. You have to stand and hang on tightly to what I give you.  Do not doubt. If you doubt, the enemy will rob you and Peter of what you wrote concerning your destiny together. Do you understand?"  I understood as I never did before.  I asked His forgiveness for often giving in to doubts which probably came out of a sense of unworthiness and passivity and fear of man (a very acceptable Chinese attribute of 'modesty' and submitting to one's lot). 

This time, I fought and won!  SVT disappeared. Three more times when I was in a dilemma and fear was encroaching on my heart, SVT would get started, but I took the offensive and assaulted the enemy and each time it would shrivel up and leave.  Just like cancer, after I was healed of it, there were two separate occasions when the doctors believed cancer had come back. I started to go into fear and turmoil but fought and fought in the cavern of my heart in His heart until I heard God say, "It's OK.Jean. You can rest now. Cancer has not come back!" Since then I no longer bother with the issue of cancer. I notice it is the same with SVT. Three times it came back, or so it seems, scaring and confusing me, but after I got the vision and went on the offensive, I no longer fear it, and I believe the issue is closed. 

This is testing and training in authority. Something that someone like me has taken a whole lifetime to learn to do. But God has not left me behind.  I am a warrior now just like you are, and we are rising up to be a fighting unit, "for such a time as this," (Esther 4:14)

August 2, 2012

No sooner had I enjoyed victory over SVT then I entered the month of July, a month of unbelievable oppression. Circumstances came in one after another with the intend to drag me back into the miry pit of depression, which was a mental and emotional problem I lived with since childhood. Voices hounded me day and night and actual events or circumstances made me question my worth, my character and even my identity.  At the same time it has become clearer and clearer that the Lord is writing the next book which I am receiving down here. Yet I have been buffeted with vexation tearing me down and bringing up all my past issues of depression. Here I am, supposed to be hearing from the Lord about "new man-new marriage" but it seemed that Peter and I are more at odds with each other.  I sought help from the Lord and He would direct me to read certain portions of my book Out of the Wilderness and from what I wrote seven years ago He would speak clearly to me. I asked prayer from trustworthy intercessors and received validation and encouragement.  I would receive relief and clarification but could not keep them. Over and over the hot howling wind of vexation would come over me.

The night before last night I stayed up to 2:00 AM begging the Lord to take away the assignment to write another book for Him.  I have two amazing invitations to do workshops on "creativity and joy" in September and a whole day workshop on "healing" in December for Pasadena IHOP,but I no longer believed I was capable to handle such assignments. Underneath in my psyche fear has come back to take residence - great fear of failure, fear of losing everything, fear of losing the respect of others, and worse, fear of losing the anointing from the Lord.  I felt so defeated and so weak it seemed like another lifetime ago when I took authority over the fear of SVT and won. Yet it was only a month or so ago that I had won that critical war. What has happened to me!?  I had no strength to fight. What authority? What boldness?

I woke up before 6:00 AM yesterday morning, and once again I felt the spirits of oppression gathering around ready to assault me, as it had done for over a month. As I felt the anguish filling my heart once again, I also felt my heart moving into SVT ready to go into heart palpitation. In that split second, righteous anger filled my heart. God has trained me well to take authority over the SVT, but to take authority over emotional and mental assault - that's something still not quite worked into me. However, I knew I have to get it this time! I cannot allow this assault to continue! Without missing a beat the warrior bride spirit in me rose up ten-story high to declare that "No weapons forged against me will succeed,"  "Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit, says the Lord of Host," that "If God is for me who can be against me."  Only this time it was not SVT, but it was the spirits of depression, fear of man, doubts and unbelief, confusion and anger and vexation, the spirit of disunity with Peter.  I saw myself, felt myself, heard myself told all these oppressing spirits to be gone in Jesus' name, out of our house, out of my marriage. I was very thorough. I was like a lioness. There was no fooling around with me. In fact, a funny picture came to mind. I saw myself as the Green Hulk in the Avengers movie. Boy!  I can see the enemy scattered whichever way. So furious was I. The boldness of the Holy Spirit in me. I did all that while still lying in bed. When I got out of bed and walked about, I knew that those spirits were gone. For the first day in a month I had a great sense of well-being and sound mind and steady emotion. 

Wow!  Can you see each of us doing that? That is the true power that the bride of Christ has in fighting the evil one, by our taking authority in Jesus' name and by the blood of the Lamb. We declare Revelation 12:11 that "They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death." Amen and amen."

Tidalwave 2 over San Diego

I believe "TheTidal Wave 2" is being activated by the Lord for the San Diego region, "for such a time as this." (Esther 4:14). In November,1996, I was sitting in front of the Pacific Ocean by the Oceanside pier on a rainy day and the Lord had me paint a wave so big and so full of colors. I asked the Lord what that wave meant and He indicated it was about revival coming to our region.

In the course of many years since, a sense grew in me and in the hearts of a number of prayer leaders in Oceanside, that when revival comes to the San Diego region it would very likely start from the north. We take note that both the visions of the "Warrior Bride" painting-word and the "Tidal Wave over the World" painting-word came to me by the ocean of Oceanside.

Last weekend, I drove up to Oceanside to attend the first Prophetic Intercession School for San Diego led by Pastor Joanne. Actually, Joanne has been pastoring a small prayer group for at least 10 - 15 years, training intercessors how to hear well what is on God's heart for that day, and once they hear, to pray as one for God's agenda. No other agenda but exactly His agenda.This year, the Lord is asking them to take this Prophetic Intercession School to the four regions of San Diego - traveling prayer training school to train San Diegans to pray as one the very heart of God.

I remember during the early years after the tidal wave painting came, why the wave had not yet come. An answer I was given by my pastor was, "It will come when the church is in unity." That unity seems impossible to come by. Still so much division among churches, so much church politics. So how could that oneness come in? Ah! The unity is not so much in the realm of "doings," but in the realm of "being," as in praying as one. As I sat in the prayer meeting last Saturday praying with the others, I received a key understanding. The unity comes when God's people pray as one. This is what God treasures. Here is a paragraph describing "oneness" from my second book, The Rising Up of the Warrior Bride of Christ, A Prophetic Journey:

When that breakthrough comes, we are no longer separate people sharing a room and time singing together or praying together. We are suddenly one person. It is the bride of Christ functioning as one - one mind, one emotion, one spirit. We know as one, hear as one, and receive His Word as one.

In 2007, I painted a second tidal wave. This wave is painted as looming over the Oceanside pier, so gloriously imminent. Even as God's people continues to pray deeply in the spirit realm the very heart of God with every heart praying as one with His heart, I believe the tidal wave will fall upon us.

Praying as one is just one version of why San Diego is due for revival. Many, many have stood and kept vigil through the years doing what each person, each small group, each church is called to do to bring in oneness. I like to mention the ministry of Carol releasing worship to God and bringing down such a heavy sense of His Presence with songs given to her, pounding, pounding on Heaven's door with the beat and rhythm and sound of earth calling to Heaven. I like to mention that for many years the Messianic dance ministry of Jackie has been leading us into such high worship to the King of Kings . Alma and Beth's weekly ministry of healing and deliverance near the southern border of San Diego and Tijuana have been going on for 15-20 years or more. They faithfully minister to the sick and oppressed and signs and wonders and healing miracles are regular occurences. How about Lisa who has faithfully been prayer walking/running by the ocean in the city of La Jolla and other locations the Lord sends her to, for some seventeen years now. Her heart pounds in sync with the Lord's heart for our region as she runs, her ears cocked in readiness to hear His voice.

I like to mention that many leaders in San Diego have fought for this region and the toll on their health, family, relationships, ministries have been heavy. Inspite of the high cost to themselves, they are still standing in San Diego, not with heavy, bowed heads, but rather standing tall, their faces set like flint, glowing, with badges of honor on their chests, actually moving now into greater anointing and receiving what they have been patiently praying and contending for - revival for this region. Not only for this region, but beyond. Way, way beyond. Joanne's feet get to step on the "lion and cobra" (as in Psalm 91) in China for the past some five-six years bringing in true revival to the region of Fuzhou. Gary Goodell and his vision of doing church differently, that is, doing house churches, is seeing his vision multiplying in India, Philippines, and other nations.

A key prayer leader in the North County of San Diego region was recently given the death sentence of stage 4 cancer in her lungs. But she declared, " I don't see myself dying yet. This is not supposed to be how I go." Many stood with her and claimed her healing with her. Last week her doctor was astonished and befuddled! Where did the cancer go? Cancer has disappeared from her lungs! The He-Laughs-at-Fear Horse laughs - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

I like to mention the arrival of Robert Herber to San Diego four years ago from Waco, Texas Antioch Church because the Lord said to him, "Go to San Diego and start a church there!" He and his family came not knowing anyone in San Diego. Today the All Peoples' Church is doing church in a ghetto part of San Diego. Five hundred people of diverse ethnic groups and diverse ages and economic backgrounds are joyfully congregating in a public school not far from the San Diego State University. Gangs and college students and athletes and the homeless are welcomed to this church. They even took 250 people to Tijuana for four days to infiltrate their streets and bring the poor and the gangs into the kingdom. It is a Jesus' church.

What is happening here in San Diego is a love affair with the Lord. He is so good to us, and we are prospering in Him, and our joy is attracting many to run to Him, wanting to know who He is. That is revival.

I am sharing my perspective.

"Tunnel of Love on Jesus' Lap"

 April 16, 2012

I believe we are in a very fast moving season. I am writing on the "Tunnel of Love on Jesus' lap" (previously named "Going through the tunnel to sit on Jesus' Lap"),but another painting-word is already waiting for my next report to you. Of course I can only speak from my own journey through these thirty or more painting-words. Since they are prophetic paintings, they move in God's kairos time. Remember two weekends ago I was in Los Angeles region twice on assignments for the Lord and wrote that the painting-word was so profound it has already affected my inner life but that it would be difficult to report it. Today I am ready to share this word with you.

Basically, the Lord revealed that I had been believing and living in some cancerous lies and did not even know it. In November of 2005, I recorded in my book, Out of the Wilderness, that cancer was over and now the Lord was taking me on a new journey, the journey to discover "the others". I wrote in my book, "Sometime on this journey I will come to love and appreciate the bride of Christ that He loves so much." I was molested as a small child and grew up believing that no one would love me if they knew this shameful thing had happened to me. So, I withdrew into a cocoon and my personality did not develop properly. The result was a woman who could not feel love nor give love. So God began the process of re-parenting me by giving me these paintings-words. I am amazed and totally surprised that "Tunnel of Love on Jesus' lap" is a powerful painting-word for getting me into love - love from Him, love for others.

What I am sharing here is how the enemy works to trick us into believing lies about ourselves and our relationship with Jesus. He studies us and our background, and know what kind of lies we will receive as truth about ourselves. Beyond the enemy, the bottom line is we simply do not know God enough nor know His power to hold us in His strong arms through thick or thin. We also disqualify ourselves rather easily, thinking we are being humble in seeing how unfaithful we are to God. Rather we fall right into the trap of disqualifying ourselves as lovers of Jesus. The enemy lives for that - our disqualifying ourselves.

I had been believing the lie that in the past few years because of relentless attacks of the enemy to try to steal my healing of cancer that I had gotten so tired and no longer had the joy of the Lord in His Garden. An even more damaging lie was that I had fallen out of love with Jesus because I had become a "ministry" machine. Outwardly I could still write and paint and speak for the Lord, but secretly wondered if I was still in love with Him. Warfare had been horrendous within the circle of the bride of Christ, and I found myself falling into wanting to fight "the others" with tools of anger and bitterness. I felt I have failed. He had wanted me to learn to love the others, but I felt I had failed.

Praise God! Jesus came to scuttle the enemy and He brought me into the banqueting hall and fed me. He applied ointment on my wounds and spoke lovingly to me (this scene came out of the play version of my book, His Garden). I am living in that scene right now. He used the painting-word of "Tunnel of Love on Jesus' Lap" to speak the truth to me. That painting with the whirlpool or whirlwind had always stood for devastation of all sorts. I always thought it meant that we are safe from such devastations as long as we stay hidden in His arms. What a surprise that He said the tunnel is the tunnel of love - overwhelming, beyond comprehension, unreasonable, unlimited love of Jesus for me. He also told me that my writing for hours on end, going out to share wherever He sent me, and taking much risk to go out and pray for others who are sick and in torment, that in His eyes I was bringing a cup of living water to the least of these ones, and that I was really doing it out of love, for Him and for the others.

He reassured me, saying that I had never left His Garden and that our love for each other is as strong as ever. In fact, He practically shouted out for me to declare Romans 8: 35 - 39, "Who shall separate me from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all those things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Yes, the whirlpool or whirlwind means devastation to the world; yet, in Jesus, I and my house ("as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"), we get to be whirling through the tunnel of love, being carried on Jesus' lap, from here to there to there, to proclaim His goodness in the land of the living, day in and day out, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until we see Him face to face.

While I was speaking at the Cerrito Aglow, His Presence and His anointing was so strong that I broke out in prayer for my dear friend, who had unexpectedly fallen into the grip of mental illness. I declared that even now, in her condition, I see her sitting on Jesus' lap in the tunnel of love. For indeed, who can separate her from the love of God in Christ Jesus? Not even mental illness. The power of God will bring this child of God to know His love in the deep places of her heart, beyond her mind, and that her knowing will break the power of torment, in Jesus' name.  Amen! 

update about my fall and my thoughts on healing

April 12, 2012

  

Two weeks ago when I fell at the bottom of our stairs, I could have catapulted into major worries that I was going to LA to speak twice that weekend and this fall could be serious.  I remember a moment of choice - to get all upset and worried or to check in with the Lord right away. I decided to do the latter and immediately "heard" in my spirit -  "and after all that, to STAND."  I declared Ephesians 6: 11 - 14.  Boy!  Did I ever feel boldness come onto me. I could picture me go from a crouching position to standing fully erect and whipping my new weapon out.  Ephesians 6 was fully activated for this situation.

In fact, this is how I get a new weapon (scripture) from the Lord.  When I use the weapon and the enemy is scuttled, in my spirit I know that I have just been given a new sharp sword or arrow. I also did a wise thing - I went to write the email to you, so I would be backed by you.  It's not really about the fall, it was about my going to Los Angeles on Easter Sunday to share about healing.  Interesting that the Life Group (or home fellowship) that invited me to share is having their meeting at the home of a Christian oncologist in Los Angeles. There will be cancer patients there as well as non-Christians.

As you can see, this is bad news for the enemy.  He does not want me going out to talk from what I learned in fighting cancer.  A large portion of that book I wrote about my cancer experience was hearing God's voice telling me what fighting cancer is all about. The second half of that book was God revealing how to fight cancerous lies that are imbedded in our culture and belief system, even in church system. 

I do see that God has purposed to send me out this year as there seems to be an epidemic of cancer.  However, I am not trained. I almost want to say, Are you sure you want me to share on healing?  Are you sure you want me to pray for the sick?  I really don't know if I am anointed or not. But I am willing to share and to pray. The result is up to God and the person He is wanting to get really close to.  I can pray for this person to discover who God is in the course of fighting cancer or other sicknesses. This person can become so intimate with Jesus as never before.  This person can end up flying high as an eagle getting to see things from such a vantage point instead of cowering in fear and worries about his sickness.  This person can turn into a warrior in the course of learning how to fight cancer and other fearful situations. These were the things that happened to me.  In the course of getting to know God intimately I learned to agree with His word and used His words  as weapons to fight my fear. I ended up partnershipping with God to take authority over cancer.  Wow!  What brilliant thoughts of God on our behalf!

These are the things I like to share and pray for others to receive from Jehovah Rapha.  It isn't about being so desperate and begging and begging like a beggar for God to heal me and wondering if I am worthy of being healed. No, healing is not about that. Learning to fight cancer and other diseases and cancerous lies is a part of walking and talking with God in the cool of the day in His Garden - getting to know Him, getting to trust Him, getting to see how good and kind and compassionate He is.  Rising up and becoming an overcomer is a part of the abundant life, and we know that Jesus said He came to give us life and life abundant.

Yes, healing is a part of standing as in Ephesians 6:13, "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."  This Saturday there is a memorial service for Sheri in Los Angeles. I believe that Sheri stood her ground against cancer and other diseases, and after she did everything, she stood, as did her family and friends and church and doctors. I believe she was standing when the Lord came to take her to her reward.  She was an overcomer and she enjoyed the abundant life.

My visit with Jennie(stage 4 cancer) in Los Angeles-Feb 28

Like to share my trip to Los Angeles to pray for Jennie who has stage 4 cancer. As my sister and I were driving up to her home on February 28, I thought to myself, Would I have anything to give?  I hardly knew her. She hardly knew me. What would be the point of connection between us so that the door would open for me to share with her?  I did not know.

She came out of her bedroom, a picture of one who had nothing in her to respond to anyone.  My cousin had given her my Out of the Wilderness book (my cancer book), so I thought I would use that as a point of connection. When I asked her if she had read the book, she looked at me and I saw in her tired eyes as she said "No" that what she really wanted to say was "where would I have strength to read a book. I can barely keep my food." I saw the anguish in her eyes that there was no strength in her for anything that people with good intention wanted to give her. Doctors already pronounced that there's very little hope for her, or, no hope at all, even though they are putting her through the treatments. Can it be that it was so wearying for her to see people who come with good intentions to cheer her up, urge her to eat, counsel her to live, and yes, to pray for her? Can it be that inside her mind all those prayers can be tiring for her because she needed to show her appreciation and she needed to show faith?

I brought my 2012 calendar with the "Two Trees and the Valley of Decision" and I handed it to her.  In a split second I knew I was given a door by the Lord. I pointed to the painting and showed her that Jesus showed up in three places - Jesus was an ink blot on top of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; Jesus was the Tree of Life singing to one and all to come eat of the fruit of the life; Jesus was the Key Witness among the cloud of witnesses in the sky who are urging us all to finish the race. I said to her: "This painting tells us that the Presence of Jesus is everywhere, that He is supreme over all power and authorities in the air,(Colossians 1) which means that He is surpreme over cancer. He is with you now in your situation. He is more powerful than cancer." She looked at me and I saw a glimmer in her eyes.  She nodded her head.

I felt the floodgate opened inside me, and the river of living water flowed out from my inner being to her.  I talked about my doubts and fears and how that year of fighting cancer God talked to me about Who He was for me and how He gave me scriptures which I would "eat" like they were fruits from the Tree of Life. The back drop was that six oncologists and one radialogy doctor were freaking out that I was not hurrying into treatments; and how by three months into the fight with cancer I was speaking at an Aglow meeting declaring that God said I was healed.  Impossible situation! Too ridiculous!  Doctors declared I would die. God declared I would live and not die and proclaim what God has done (Psalm 118:17).  I told her how my cousin Marsh urged me to get medical proof that I was healed. But I did not get the OK from God to do that. So, Marsh said, "Well, I suppose if you are still alive in a few years, then we will know that God has healed you."  Everyone knew how blunt Marsh could be at times, so we all laughed. Jennie chuckled, appreciating the funny story. Her mother exclaimed, "Look, you are laughing, Jennie!"

At that, I felt the Lord wanted us to do something together. There were four women gathered around her - her mother, a friend, my sister and I. I asked for a Bible and we opened to Psalm 91. I told her we were going to read Psalm 91, and we were to personalize it.

I asked Jennie to read the psalm and change the pronouns to herself.  So, she started to read it,  "I, Jennie, who dwell in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I, Jennie, will say of the Lord, 'You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'  Surely you will save me from the fowler's (evil one) snare, and from the deadly pestilence (cancer). You will cover me with Your feathers, and under Your wings I, Jennie, will find refuge: your faithfulness will be my shield and rampart. "

I asked my sister, representing the bride of Christ, the church, to declare the next few lines over Jennie:

"You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked."

Then I asked Jennie to declare the next portion of Psalm 91.  By now, I sensed her declaring the words with her whole being:

"If I make the Most High my dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge -

then no harm will befall me, no disaster will come near my tent.

For He will command his angels concerning me to guard me in all my ways;

they will lift me up in their hands,

so that I will not strike my foot against a stone.

I will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

I will trample the great lion and the serpent."

I hastened to say to Jennie, "Jennie, you are the bride of Christ. This is our heritage. We have power and authority to stomp on the evil one." She added, "to trample."  I saw in her eyes the eyes of a warrior. It was a moment to behold, for what was transpiring was the anointing coming upon Jennie to have courage to rise up as the warrior bride of Christ - from being a harassed, scared, oppressed bride, to that of an overcomer.

I asked her to go on and read the last portion of Psalm 91. With strong and steady voice she read,

"Because you love Me, Jennie," says the Lord, "I will rescue you; I will protect you, for you acknowledge my name. You will call upon me and I will answer you; I will be with you in trouble, I will deliver you and honor you. With long life will I satisfy you and show you my salvation."

After she read that, it dawned on me that God was making a covenant with Jennie. I exclaimed to her, "Jennie, God is making a covenant with you." She nodded her head.  The room was quiet with peace and rest.  I looked at her and she looked at me. Around us was a cloud of witnesses. Jennie repeated the last verse to us, "With long life will I satisfy you and show you my salvation."

All praises to Him who loves us so and through Jesus we have life and life abundant.

Message of the"Two Trees and the Valley of Decision" for 2012

January 3, 2012

This is the message the Lord gave me for the year 2012 through the "Two Trees and the Valley of Decision" painting-word. Just think, this painting came in 2006 with the prayer collaboration of student prayer leaders at the University of California in San Diego (UCSD). Only now is this painting-word activated and the message given.

One night, in April of 2006, I woke up and knew that I was to go down and paint the Tree of Life as Christ with His arms outstretched, singing to all to come and eat of the Tree of Life. I painted this tree as standing on the Mountain of God with the River of Living Water flowing out from the Tree.  I remember that in 1993 He said to me, "I want you to be My court painter, painting for the King, and I will provide for your every need."  I realize now that covenant word is a fruit from the Tree of Life which I have been eating these eighteen years and it has kept me alive through depression, bankruptcy, cancer. A sense of gratefulness wells up inside me as I realize afresh that He can keep His people alive in perilous times as we eat daily from the Tree of Life.

The Holy Spirit is referring to a heart to heart communion with the Living God where in our spirit we eat of Him and drink of Him. Not a day must pass without our sitting on His lap, laughing with Him, crying to Him, gaining a deeper knowing of who He is, hearing Him tell us who we are, burrowing deeper into Him, flying higher as an eagle, and actually laughing at fear afraid of nothing.  Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha! I also notice that when I eat from the Tree of Life that I can turn to my husband, son and daughter and friends and share the fruit with them, and they can go out and share it with yet someone else, and all our spirits will be nourished.

When I was painting the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, my brush moved over the crumpled and wrinkled rice paper with Chinese ink creating a large dark foreboding tree. Interestingly, back in 2006, the intercessors who came to see the painting saw many demonic faces embedded in the tree as ink blots (ink blots just show up without the artist painting them). But wait! Behold! At the top of the tree is an ink blot which shows Christ with one hand held high. Do you see Him? That image tells us that even though there's overwhelming evil and unprecendented threats in this world, nonetheless Christ has supremacy over all powers and authorities. Colossians 1:16-17 tells us: For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

All humanity stands in the Valley of Decision, painted as covered by mist or fog - some to choose Christ as the Tree of Life, thereby gaining life and life abundant; others to choose the enticing Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. They do not see this tree as dark and ominous, rather, they are addicted to it believing it will lead to success and prosperity. Alas! Eating from this tree leads many into delusion, lies, addiction, loss of freedom, fear, control and death. The nations, especially our nation, is in the Valley of Decision in 2012 making critical choices that determine our future. How we must all pray and content for our nation!

For each of us, we must choose to live each day in the delight of the Lord, believing what He says is true. Not looking to circumstances and to our hearts' clamor and demand for solutions, but looking to Him who is more than willing to share His brilliant ideas with us. Yes, do look at painting #30, gallery section of  http://www.jbrushwork.com/. which shows a child sitting on Jesus' lap with Him holding the world in His hand.  He is showing the child (which is you and me) what He is doing in the world and what part each of us will play in His brilliant scheme of things.  To get His idea, His plan and purposes, is to eat from the Tree of Life.

The cloud of witnesses painted above the Tree of Life are those who have run the race and are now watching us from Heaven.Take note of the bearded Witness, which is Jesus. Moreover,they are urging us to run our race in our time and we are to declare with every fibre of our being that If God is for us, who can be against us?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:33, 37-39)

Today, January 3rd, 2012, the Lord is showing me that with Jesus showing up in three different places in this painting that His Presence is everywhere. Look at Psalm 139 - "Where can I go from your Spirit?..If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there...even the darkness will not be dark to you...for darkness is as light to you."  From Psalm 139 the Lord gave me Exodus 33: 12-19 to eat, as it is like a fruit from the Tree of Life to give us hope for our future. Moses said to the Lord, "If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.The Lord replied, 'My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.'"   

O Lord!  May it be so! Amen!