She came out of her bedroom, a picture of one who had nothing in her to respond to anyone. My cousin had given her my Out of the Wilderness book (my cancer book), so I thought I would use that as a point of connection. When I asked her if she had read the book, she looked at me and I saw in her tired eyes as she said "No" that what she really wanted to say was "where would I have strength to read a book. I can barely keep my food." I saw the anguish in her eyes that there was no strength in her for anything that people with good intention wanted to give her. Doctors already pronounced that there's very little hope for her, or, no hope at all, even though they are putting her through the treatments. Can it be that it was so wearying for her to see people who come with good intentions to cheer her up, urge her to eat, counsel her to live, and yes, to pray for her? Can it be that inside her mind all those prayers can be tiring for her because she needed to show her appreciation and she needed to show faith?
I brought my 2012 calendar with the "Two Trees and the Valley of Decision" and I handed it to her. In a split second I knew I was given a door by the Lord. I pointed to the painting and showed her that Jesus showed up in three places - Jesus was an ink blot on top of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; Jesus was the Tree of Life singing to one and all to come eat of the fruit of the life; Jesus was the Key Witness among the cloud of witnesses in the sky who are urging us all to finish the race. I said to her: "This painting tells us that the Presence of Jesus is everywhere, that He is supreme over all power and authorities in the air,(Colossians 1) which means that He is surpreme over cancer. He is with you now in your situation. He is more powerful than cancer." She looked at me and I saw a glimmer in her eyes. She nodded her head.
I felt the floodgate opened inside me, and the river of living water flowed out from my inner being to her. I talked about my doubts and fears and how that year of fighting cancer God talked to me about Who He was for me and how He gave me scriptures which I would "eat" like they were fruits from the Tree of Life. The back drop was that six oncologists and one radialogy doctor were freaking out that I was not hurrying into treatments; and how by three months into the fight with cancer I was speaking at an Aglow meeting declaring that God said I was healed. Impossible situation! Too ridiculous! Doctors declared I would die. God declared I would live and not die and proclaim what God has done (Psalm 118:17). I told her how my cousin Marsh urged me to get medical proof that I was healed. But I did not get the OK from God to do that. So, Marsh said, "Well, I suppose if you are still alive in a few years, then we will know that God has healed you." Everyone knew how blunt Marsh could be at times, so we all laughed. Jennie chuckled, appreciating the funny story. Her mother exclaimed, "Look, you are laughing, Jennie!"
At that, I felt the Lord wanted us to do something together. There were four women gathered around her - her mother, a friend, my sister and I. I asked for a Bible and we opened to Psalm 91. I told her we were going to read Psalm 91, and we were to personalize it.
I asked Jennie to read the psalm and change the pronouns to herself. So, she started to read it, "I, Jennie, who dwell in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I, Jennie, will say of the Lord, 'You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Surely you will save me from the fowler's (evil one) snare, and from the deadly pestilence (cancer). You will cover me with Your feathers, and under Your wings I, Jennie, will find refuge: your faithfulness will be my shield and rampart. "
I asked my sister, representing the bride of Christ, the church, to declare the next few lines over Jennie:
"You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked."
Then I asked Jennie to declare the next portion of Psalm 91. By now, I sensed her declaring the words with her whole being:
"If I make the Most High my dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge -
then no harm will befall me, no disaster will come near my tent.
For He will command his angels concerning me to guard me in all my ways;
they will lift me up in their hands,
so that I will not strike my foot against a stone.
I will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
I will trample the great lion and the serpent."
I hastened to say to Jennie, "Jennie, you are the bride of Christ. This is our heritage. We have power and authority to stomp on the evil one." She added, "to trample." I saw in her eyes the eyes of a warrior. It was a moment to behold, for what was transpiring was the anointing coming upon Jennie to have courage to rise up as the warrior bride of Christ - from being a harassed, scared, oppressed bride, to that of an overcomer.
I asked her to go on and read the last portion of Psalm 91. With strong and steady voice she read,
"Because you love Me, Jennie," says the Lord, "I will rescue you; I will protect you, for you acknowledge my name. You will call upon me and I will answer you; I will be with you in trouble, I will deliver you and honor you. With long life will I satisfy you and show you my salvation."
After she read that, it dawned on me that God was making a covenant with Jennie. I exclaimed to her, "Jennie, God is making a covenant with you." She nodded her head. The room was quiet with peace and rest. I looked at her and she looked at me. Around us was a cloud of witnesses. Jennie repeated the last verse to us, "With long life will I satisfy you and show you my salvation."
All praises to Him who loves us so and through Jesus we have life and life abundant.
