Had no idea that my making it to the Aglow National Conference in Ontario (almost 2 hours away from SD) this past Friday and Saturday would be so critical to my cough/no voice syndrome plus receiving a key word for all of us. He is an amazing God!
Each of the last three adventures - to Pasadena International House of Prayer (PIHOP) to speak on creativity and joy, to the Chinese fellowship in Glendale, and the unplanned trip to the Aglow conference with me still coughing and unable to speak - were "dire straits," or narrow paths that were risky and so uncomfortable, except that by God's grace I stayed on course. Now I already see in my spirit that the fruits, the rewards are HUGE. Thank you for praying for me to make these trips and not to say "No" to God because they are not sensible or smart. Thank God! Thank God! Thank God!
Quickly, about the cough and the loss of voice syndrome. When I rose 10 ft. tall as the fearless warrior bride to speak to my fellow Chinese in Los Angeles, and my voice came forth from my belly full of the Holy Spirit, I really believed that the cough would go away after my talk and my voice returned to normal. But it was not so! I continued to cough and to have no voice. I was miserable and disappointed. In the days following my cough got worse. My every thought was about my symptoms. How could that be when I experienced His miracle at the fellowship? It's not just about the cough and no voice, it was really more about all the prayers from the saints and the faith and the conquering spirit in me that triumphed over circumstances and sickness. The detective part of my spirit knew something was amiss. What was it! The night before the trip to Aglow conference I could not sleep. I said to God," What hapened to me, God? How did I go from a 10 ft. tall warrior bride to a victim-like person? What went wrong, God? This was not supposed to be my story."
Then the Lord showd me what really happened after my talk: I got careless and from there went into pity party and worry. I was miffed at God for not healing my cough and voice. That opened the door for the enemy to whisper to me, "Poor Jean! You even had to teach your classes when you had no voice because you needed the income. So sad. Look at your circumstance now - you no longer have the option to be sick anymore. Is God really taking care of your needs?" I woke up to the ploy of the enemy when I could "hear" what he was really saying to me and I was agreeing with. Quickly I asked God to forgive me and I put everything back into His hands - cough, no voice, tiredness and whatever His timing was for healing me. I even began to thank Him for the cough, knowing that He would turn everything to good, even the cough.
On the last session where Graham Cooke spoke, because of my cough(where I have had to run to the restroom due to the coughs), I chose to go to the overflow room where there was practically nobody but me. As Graham began to speak, he chit-chatted with us. Suddenly, out of the blue, I heard him say,"Yeah! Yesterday I felt my voice come under attack. I said to myself, Well, when the enemy attacks my voice, it must mean that he is deadly scared of what I am about to say." Just like that, I knew the why of my cough and the loss of voice. I knew it has to do with my speaking on the ancient Chinese written words! The enemy tried to stop me from going to the Chinese fellowship to speak, but failed to do so. That is nothing compared to what God is showing me about the Chinese characters (in C.H. Kang's book on The Discovery of Genesis) that has to do with the creation of the WOMAN out of the rib of the MAN, and the ensuing life of companionship of this woman and this man. I already know He is about to show me something so key, so fundamental about MARRIAGE through those characters our ancients had invented about the life of the TWO humans in that garden. So many characters were about TWO people, not three, not a group, but always, TWO humans. I actually have been waiting to get done with the three out-of-town assignments so I can hide away and listen to Him showing me about the Garden marriage through these characters. It will be a part of the NEW MAN-NEW MARRIAGE He wants me to write on.
Now hear this. After the Graham Cooke's session, I walked out to meet up with streams of people coming out of the auditorium. I ran into Pastor Mike Hubbard from Oceanside. We stopped and talked for a few minutes. He asked me a strange question. "Jean, can you help me out? I am going to Fuzhow to speak to Chinese men about marriage. I need to have some Chinese characters about marriage." I looked at him and said, "Interesting you should ask. I am about to write (a book) about such Chinese characters ( which will cast light on God's thought on marriage)" I know that Mike does not know about Kang's book on Discovery of Genesis, How the Truths Were Found Hidden in the Chinese Language." He just wanted some Chinese calligraphy written for him. But this is what the enemy is scared of. To this day, in China, women are still minority and are abused and mistreated by their husbands, even Christian men. It is culturally acceptable. The enemy cannot afford for me to discover what God wants to show me, and for me to write His revelation down and to share with my readers who pray and also with Mike who is going to China to teach and retrain the Chinese men in their thinking about women and their treatments of their wives. It is important that we identify the ploy of the enemy and expose him, because it renders null and void his wile and scheme against us.
I want to write so badly about what Graham shared on UPGRADES but it will have to be another report. But let me just slip this in for now-please know that upgrades from God for His people are super important in this day and time. Every time we release all of our fears and worries and anger and bitterness and discouragement and low self-esteem, etc.etc. to God, really, really let them go into His hands, the Holy Spirit is free to give us upgrades from the Father for our lives. Upgrades come from our standing between God the Father and God the Son as they converse and love on each other and we get to receive their joy and peace and thoughts and plans. The Holy Spirit just smile ear to ear as He keep us in that position of love. Also, He gets to take us on adventures to do mighty deeds with Him and for Him.
My eyes are opened now. What I have shared with you in these three emails are my choosing to release my fears and worries to God and the resulting UPGRADES or adventures or creativity and joy I got in return. They were 10-fold, 40-fold, 90-fold kingdom rewards or fruits. It is so important that more and more of God's people release every single one of our worries and fears and issues to Him, even name them one by one, and drop them into Jesus' lap, and not go back to take them back into our own hands again. Then and only then, when we are free to receive His love, He can give us our upgrades. Oh the joy of going into adventures with Him, and bringing back so much fruits!
