Adventure into "Creativity and Joy"

written September 6, 2012

Psalm 118

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his loves endures forever...

In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and He answered by setting me free...

They surrounded me on every side, but in the name of the Lord I cut them off.

They swarmed around me like bees, but the Lord helped me.

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord helped me.

The Lord is my strength and my song;

he has become my salvation.

Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous:

"The Lord's right hand is lifted high; the Lord's right hand has done a mighty thing."

I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done.

The Lord has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death.

It was testing and training the whole way for going to do the workshop at Pasadena International House of Prayer (PIHOP).The enemy continued to hit, but the Lord continued to train. I was in the school of the overcomer, and this assignment was pretty high level and God had to train me well to handle this. I was going through what Chuck Pierce calls "dire strait." That's what you and I are experiencing in so many ways. Such a tiny opening and guarded by the enemy, but we must get through that dire passage to get to the next portion of our destiny, the next clearing where we can "see" what is up ahead for us. So important.

But God met me in those dire passages. In the last three days before the workshop on September 1st, I got three painting-words that I was to bring to the workshop. First it was the "Mountain of God" which came the next morning after my heart palpitation episode. This came with passages from Revelation that were given to me to eat. That morning I was stuck with five dilemmas in my life and I was hearing Him tell me, "You come up higher and I will show you what must take place after this." It is climbing higher to be with Him, with nothing but being on a rock, face to face with Him, and singing the song of the overcomer. I knew in my spirit that things looked bad, but if I go up there to hang out with Him, I will KNOW. I proceeded to know by faith that all is well with everyone of those five dilemmas. Wow!

Sensing my weakness, I cried out to God to help me. He answered me by the following passages. Rev. 1:17: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive forever and ever. And I hold the keys of death and Hades. Write (or declare, or dance, or sing, etc.) therefore, what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later. 

Next I got Rev. 2:7, "To him that overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life." ( I know that is why God keeps training me in the school of the overcomer, so that I will be kept alive by eating from the tree of life, and I believe that these painting-words are fruits from the Tree of Life and I have been kept alive by these painting-words, with special reference to cancer.)

Revelation 3:7 follows: "What he opens no one can shut and what he shuts no one can open. I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." (That speaks clearly to me because I know that on my part all I have is that I have kept His word and not denied His name. That is my two fish and five loaves of bread or my 1% to His 99% in the scheme of things.)

Revelation 3:11, "Hold on to what you have, so no one can take your crown."  (His training is strengthening my arms so I can hold on to what He has given me and not allow the enemy to rob, steal and kill. It is the warrior bride stance that He is developing in all of us. No more limpy arms, and victim-like mentality.)

During another midnight of hanging out with the Lord, Revelation 12 was given. He was giving me the interpretation about the woman who was giving birth and the dragon who was waiting to devour the child. The woman was the church, and she was about to give birth to "creativity and joy." It is the rising up of an army of creative people. Yes! Yes! an army of passionately creative people who are hearing, hearing, hearing from the Throne Room and receiving ideas, formulas, visions, sound, cures, inventions straight from the Creator God. Thus, a second painting-word was added to bring to PIHOP- the Tidal Wave 2. He was saying to us that this next tidal wave will not be like The Call tidal wave of 2001. Rather, this tidal wave will bring in the Renaissance period with an outpouring of creativity and joy unlike anything we have seen or heard or imagined, thus sweeping many into the kingdom of God. 

As an aside, let me share a story of my teaching art. For the last 4 years or so, God has been coming to my Chinese brush painting classes. Before that, I was burned out teaching a bunch of atheists, intellectuals, new-agers, eastern religion proponents.I wanted to quit teaching. But He said He would come to my classes if I continued to teach.  From then on my classes became the joy of my life. When I was teaching and demonstrating, I would see my students listening with such focus, sometimes with tears brimming their eyes. I could not preach about Jesus, but Jesus was giving them kingdom principles. I was able to take these pre-believers to underground passages and show them how to paint from deep within the caverns of their hearts. I took note that my students were turning into children who laugh and play in His Garden. These are people who would not step into a church, nor hold a Bible, but God is preparing to sweep them one day into His kingdom through the outpouring of creativity and joy.

On Friday, August 31st, the Lord revealed that the third word I was to share at PIHOP was the "Sunflower" painting-word. This painting was the second one that God gave me in 1993. It was about joy.  The scripture was "anointing you with the oil of joy."(Psalm 45:7).  I saw a vision of a heart with a stout white pipeline stuck on its side pointing up to heaven. The Lord said to me at that time, "I am pouring out the oil of joy into your heart and the heart of my people. This joy is not of the earth, but purely of heaven." Yet, at 1:30 AM of Sept.1, I was up asking the Lord how was I going to speak about joy when I rarely feel joy. Creativity, yes, but not joy. People with my background in depression do not experience joy very often. Yet at the night hour I felt as if I was going through a birthing experience. I was groaning and rocking in the spirit participating in something His Spirit was doing. It was a deep experience that was more than I could comprehend. I knew then that my going to PIHOP was to birth something important in the spirit, with the help of those who would attend the workshop.

As we drove up to Pasadena, I was so tired from lack of sleep and all the warfare. I told God, "Look!  I don't have an ounce of strength left to do a 21/2 hour workshop. But I give You all I have."  As soon as I stepped through the doorway of PIHOP, all tiredness left. There was so much peace in that building. I felt spiritual energy flowing into me. Gone was any thought of warfare or concern of any sort. All I can tell you is that I sensed such presence of the Holy Spirit the whole time I was speaking. I never had time and energy to organize my talk, so I simply flowed with the Spirit and it was great. I felt so safe there with these people I had never met before. I felt so confident and sure-footed as a mountain goat. I took my time developing the thoughts from the Lord, point by point.  I got to share everything the Holy Spirit entrusted me to share. What luxury to have that kind of ease in sharing His kingdom thoughts with fellow lovers of God.  After my talk we went into prayer. Then I got to pray for a lot of people there. Just about everyone was connecting with God in deep ways, with tears flowing down their faces. We were full of joy.

 Psalm 126 is what happened to us there:

When the Lord brought back the captive to Zion,

we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tonues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

"The Lord has done great things for them."

The Lord has done great things for us,

and we are filled with joy.

Restore our fortunes, O Lord,

like streams in the Negev.

Those who sow in tears

will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping,

carrying seeds to sow,

will return with songs of joy,

carrying sheaves with him.

Testing and Training for Authority

written on August 1, 2012

In January a friend forwarded Bill Burns word for the year 2012, and now I realize that what I have experienced in the last eight months  has been exactly what Bill wrote to the bride of Christ. See below:

"You have been taught My word, and My ways have been revealed to you by the spirit of truth. You have been equipped by the spirit of power as you have embraced the gifts of the Spirit and have believed that you can operate in these. And now you are entering a time of testing so that you can apply that which you have learned and that which you have received. In this season you can pass the tests that come by using the authority that you have been given. Luke 10:19 says, 'Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.' These tests will strengthen you and will teach you responsibility and integrity.  They will equip you to be more than conquerors and enable you to be overcomers. This is an important season in which I am preparing My people to become a glorious church.  It is a season in which you must live by My prophetic and written word. You must now learn to apply by faith My words to every test, and if you do so, you will have victory and reason for celebration. Present vision will be established as you embrace the challenges of this season. Rejoice and be glad for the time of the victory and the Day of My power is at hand, says the Lord."  (Bill Burns, "2012- a Year of Discovery, part 2) in "The Trumpet" (12/5/11)

For me this is indeed the year of testing and training for authority. It comes with unrelenting assault and oppression. Chuck Pierce calls it "dire strait" or "narrow place." He wrote that many are facing circumstances which have the potential to create devastation, but we must choose life over unbelief. For those who read my July 9th report about "Boiler Room" and "Warrior bride knight", this is the third word I had wanted to share with you.

On July 5th, I woke up in the night hours with very heavy heart and went to sit with the Lord. Psalm 18:4 described how I felt: "The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me." It was not "death" but doubts of hearing God correctly. In truth it was not really me, but the devil was pushing me to doubt my ability to hear God's voice. At that critical moment, a vision came to me: I "saw" the electrode of my heart zipped from the normal track to the abnormal track signaling that the dreaded heart palpitation (SVT) was starting (this being a condition I suffered for many years) Normally when SVT starts, I would lie still for hours and pray and wait and see if my heart would convert back to normal heartbeat. However, I would end up going to Urgent Care for help. 

But NOT this time. I have been hearing from God about the enemy's ploy called "dilemma" where the bride of Christ would be driven to distraction cannot tell which of the two courses/two paths/two understandings/two words from the Lord, both sounding like God - which was God and which was pseudo God.It would all be so tricky and almost identical and both would seem good, only underneath one would be false and the other is true. 

God has been training me to discern the spirits, which is no longer easy to discern because of the time we are in when darkness and light seem to blur. God has also been showing me that some seemingly physical health manifestations are actually not real health problems but demonically inspired wiles and scheme. If they are not real, then they must be fought at a spiritual level. I watched the way these SVT have been happening so often to me from January to March, causing so much anguish and self-doubt -  if God already said I was healed, yet I continued to have SVT, then did God really say I was healed or did I hear wrong? What God is training me to look for is what is in it for the enemy.  I see how in many cases he is using these physical health problems to weary the bride so that we don't have peace and joy. We are distracted and confounded and worried as seemingly one health problem leads to discovery of another one, and another one.

In my case I saw how I had become a shadow of who I was, so afraid that SVT might show up when I was driving to Los Angeles, or when I get up in the morning and all of a sudden my heart would go into SVT. Thus that fateful night on July 5th, when SVT got started and God gave me that quick vision of my heart switching from normal track to abnormal track, my spirit was ready to fight the assault. I sprang forth from the chair like a soldier facing an enemy in the house. I whipped out my weapon and went on the assault against the enemy. I put my hand on my heart and I declared with great authority (although not loudly as Peter was sleeping), "No weapons forged against my heart will succeed." "By His stripes my heart is healed." There was no double-mindedness as I commanded my heart/mind/emotion/body to be one to agree with God that He has healed me of SVT and to tell SVT to be gone in Jesus' name. I even talked to my heart as if it were a person: "Rest, heart!  Do not fear! Remember Jesus is holding you in His hand."  Heart palpitation obeyed and went away!

Yes, SVT had become so bad and occuring so often that I was eager to have the procedure done on my heart where they would burn the abnormal path. It would have been easier, so much easier if I just get the procedure done, instead of waiting to see what was on God's mind concerning this matter. But I knew in my heart of hearts that if God tells me He has healed me, then I prefer to find out why I was still having SVT and I would prefer to overcome whatever scheme the enemy has so that I can gain more authority in the realm of healing.  So, in the end I cancelled the appointment for the procedure and chose to go this route because I know that the spiritual gain is huge. I am not saying this is for everyone. Each person needs to find out what the Lord is saying to her/him. I have a friend who wanted to go the supernatural route with cancer but God told her to go the medical route. She is a mighty warrior who prays for healing.

What the enemy is after is for me to deny that I hear God rightly or that those reports I write are from God, such as "All is well!"  and other reports I have sent to you. Once I deny that I hear God correctly than he can fool around with my mind, and I won't be able to write the next book. Very clever. That day after I fought and won over SVT I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, "You must not give away any word that I have given you. You have to stand and hang on tightly to what I give you.  Do not doubt. If you doubt, the enemy will rob you and Peter of what you wrote concerning your destiny together. Do you understand?"  I understood as I never did before.  I asked His forgiveness for often giving in to doubts which probably came out of a sense of unworthiness and passivity and fear of man (a very acceptable Chinese attribute of 'modesty' and submitting to one's lot). 

This time, I fought and won!  SVT disappeared. Three more times when I was in a dilemma and fear was encroaching on my heart, SVT would get started, but I took the offensive and assaulted the enemy and each time it would shrivel up and leave.  Just like cancer, after I was healed of it, there were two separate occasions when the doctors believed cancer had come back. I started to go into fear and turmoil but fought and fought in the cavern of my heart in His heart until I heard God say, "It's OK.Jean. You can rest now. Cancer has not come back!" Since then I no longer bother with the issue of cancer. I notice it is the same with SVT. Three times it came back, or so it seems, scaring and confusing me, but after I got the vision and went on the offensive, I no longer fear it, and I believe the issue is closed. 

This is testing and training in authority. Something that someone like me has taken a whole lifetime to learn to do. But God has not left me behind.  I am a warrior now just like you are, and we are rising up to be a fighting unit, "for such a time as this," (Esther 4:14)

August 2, 2012

No sooner had I enjoyed victory over SVT then I entered the month of July, a month of unbelievable oppression. Circumstances came in one after another with the intend to drag me back into the miry pit of depression, which was a mental and emotional problem I lived with since childhood. Voices hounded me day and night and actual events or circumstances made me question my worth, my character and even my identity.  At the same time it has become clearer and clearer that the Lord is writing the next book which I am receiving down here. Yet I have been buffeted with vexation tearing me down and bringing up all my past issues of depression. Here I am, supposed to be hearing from the Lord about "new man-new marriage" but it seemed that Peter and I are more at odds with each other.  I sought help from the Lord and He would direct me to read certain portions of my book Out of the Wilderness and from what I wrote seven years ago He would speak clearly to me. I asked prayer from trustworthy intercessors and received validation and encouragement.  I would receive relief and clarification but could not keep them. Over and over the hot howling wind of vexation would come over me.

The night before last night I stayed up to 2:00 AM begging the Lord to take away the assignment to write another book for Him.  I have two amazing invitations to do workshops on "creativity and joy" in September and a whole day workshop on "healing" in December for Pasadena IHOP,but I no longer believed I was capable to handle such assignments. Underneath in my psyche fear has come back to take residence - great fear of failure, fear of losing everything, fear of losing the respect of others, and worse, fear of losing the anointing from the Lord.  I felt so defeated and so weak it seemed like another lifetime ago when I took authority over the fear of SVT and won. Yet it was only a month or so ago that I had won that critical war. What has happened to me!?  I had no strength to fight. What authority? What boldness?

I woke up before 6:00 AM yesterday morning, and once again I felt the spirits of oppression gathering around ready to assault me, as it had done for over a month. As I felt the anguish filling my heart once again, I also felt my heart moving into SVT ready to go into heart palpitation. In that split second, righteous anger filled my heart. God has trained me well to take authority over the SVT, but to take authority over emotional and mental assault - that's something still not quite worked into me. However, I knew I have to get it this time! I cannot allow this assault to continue! Without missing a beat the warrior bride spirit in me rose up ten-story high to declare that "No weapons forged against me will succeed,"  "Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit, says the Lord of Host," that "If God is for me who can be against me."  Only this time it was not SVT, but it was the spirits of depression, fear of man, doubts and unbelief, confusion and anger and vexation, the spirit of disunity with Peter.  I saw myself, felt myself, heard myself told all these oppressing spirits to be gone in Jesus' name, out of our house, out of my marriage. I was very thorough. I was like a lioness. There was no fooling around with me. In fact, a funny picture came to mind. I saw myself as the Green Hulk in the Avengers movie. Boy!  I can see the enemy scattered whichever way. So furious was I. The boldness of the Holy Spirit in me. I did all that while still lying in bed. When I got out of bed and walked about, I knew that those spirits were gone. For the first day in a month I had a great sense of well-being and sound mind and steady emotion. 

Wow!  Can you see each of us doing that? That is the true power that the bride of Christ has in fighting the evil one, by our taking authority in Jesus' name and by the blood of the Lamb. We declare Revelation 12:11 that "They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death." Amen and amen."